This rotation’s blog post comes to you from Roving Ranger in Borrego, and we’re going to transport you to an alternate reality where, unfortunately, parts of the following story ARE reality…
Greetings Friends! Does this Halloween season have you feeling down? Tired of the same old ghost and goblin dress ups knocking on your door? Do you need a little costume pick me up? Well, have I got some ideas for you…
Why not answer your door this All Hallows’ Eve wearing the newest in backcountry wilderness horror attire? See how amazed those little ghostly ghouls will be as you add a little used motor oil to their trick or treat bags from your dripping, candy-filled hand, dressed as a leaking 55-gallon drum! Laugh out loud as they run screaming from the porch when they see you pass out redhot cinnamon candy decked out as a still-smoldering groundfire complete with native vegetation burning in your hair! Roar with delight as you trick them with used pairs of shoes and empty beer cans added in their goody bags, freshly harvested from native trees. Yes friends, you will be the talk of the neighborhood this scream season with just an ounce of care put into your Wilderness Horror Halloween decor.
|Yes, folks, that's a tree full of about 100 PAIRS of shoes.|
But that's not all! Why not freshen the front porch a bit by adding to your backcountry horror decor? Throw out those tasteless Halloween decorations of yesteryear and add in a more modern shabby-chic flare. Used toilet paper strung among the roses and vegetable garden would make an excellent obstacle to those little demons seeking access to your candy bowl. Bonus? It’s biodegradable and will help fertilize your soils! Try parking a car or two up the stairs or along the side of the house. With luck, one of your walls may collapse from the vehicles’ weight, and you'll finally be able to add in those french doors you've always wanted. Pile those tires and other discarded trash in great heaps along the lawn. They make the perfect perch from which to jump out and scare those darling witches and warlocks.
Yes, friends! This Halloween season was made for trick or treating and there's no better way to educate your future land stewards than with a fine supply of magic markers and spray paint colors. Set them loose in your hallways and bedrooms, leave them with match books in your library, set up a shooting range in your dining room! Then step back and see their ghastly creativity arise.
With your new modern horror decor, clean ups are a breeze. When the holiday is done, just pack up the family and finery and move across town! Let someone else deal with that wilderness horror as you settle in to your clean new abode. It's the holiday season, and you've got a tree to cut down!
Epilogue- The dramatization you have just read is a Halloween story and is meant to be fictional. Any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental… With your help and support to ABF and Anza-Borrego Desert State Park, it will remain fiction for lifetimes to come. Be sure to teach your family and friends the value of our beautiful desert landscapes, and show them the proper way to care for this place by being a good steward every time you’re here.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality - - -Happy Halloween!!